After a challenging family day out during our holiday I lay awake in the middle of the night trying to untangle my worries. Fear heavy on my chest as I convinced myself I’d got parenting wrong from the start. Then I started to pray, I gave God all my concerns and questions. This is what I love so much about our Lord;- his power, the strength, perfect peace and wisdom he gives along with sometimes just one or two word answers. The word was RESTORATION. With it came an instant coolness to my head and a lightening of my heart.
In the morning I looked up its full meaning and have been marvelling about it ever since. Like a stone getting stuck in the tread of a hiking boot, short tempers & tantrums were niggling in the smooth running of our family. Seeds of negativity infiltrate and sprout so quickly, even between my husband and I. We needed to come back together. I needed to come back to Jesus not fight with impatience and fear on my own (notice how these feelings always bring division and isolation!). I recalled how the absolute flawless presence of our Lord, the unwavering pillar of truth had gently exposed the lies and filth in me but there was no anger, fear or punishment just boundless LOVE – My blind eyes were opened to the seriousness and vastness of my sin but at exactly the same time I felt the intensity of the love God has for me. The ultimate in gentle discipline!
At times my behaviour is no better than a toddler’s, my emotions can get blown around by my circumstances but not when I rely fully on Jesus to strengthen the foundations in my heart. He is the joy and peace in all situations. God never gives up on us. He waits for us through our tantrums, pride, sulks and the freedom we have to go our own way, waiting for us to turn back to him so he can set us on the right path. Just as a parent waits for a toddler tantrum to subside, he is always there to scoop us up into his arms the millisecond we stop kicking and allow him to. After the restoration of my heart came the restoration of our family, that evening we were at full peace with each other reading about the greatest love of all under the most perfect dusk sky.