Loneliness in a crowded room

There’s a loneliness that’s very real even in a room full of people and sometimes the things/experiences/relationships that we expect to make us happy can sometimes leave us feeling the ache of emptiness so much more. Wherever we are there is NO situation Our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace can’t lead us out of and into the most indescribable deep joy. Please don’t despair, ANYWHERE you are just ask Jesus, believe in Him, depend on Him, trust him, hand it ALL over to him. He will come for you. 

Years ago I stood in a bookshop’s self help section looking for the possible causes for the ache in my heart; was it because I didn’t have enough of something or was it because of hurtful experiences. On the outside it was all fine; I lived my days for having fun but deep in my heart there was a relentless longing I couldn’t ignore, mask or fix. I went home overwhelmed and empty handed. Soon after, I broke and fell to my knees on my bedroom floor and turned it all over to God. I felt so sorry and told him I was ready for him to take the lead in my life. He came to me instantly. A crushing weight lifted off my body, the power of this release brings me to tears even a decade later. Then the most perfect, pure, powerful warmth of love flooded my heart. That’s the day I met our rescuer, our constant friend, our counselor, our healer, the light in the darkness, our restorer, the one who NEVER fails, the truth that exposes the lies, perfection that brings forward my imperfections, love in its purest form, our Saviour, our forgiving and gentle guide. After choosing to get to know Jesus I see his gentleness, I see that he had been there all along, he had been waiting for me through all those years but I hadn’t recognised him, I had doubted him, avoided him, even laughed at him. Whoever we are, whatever we’ve done or not done Jesus died for us. He overcame death to give us LIFE. He came to set us free; free from pain, free from misery, free from the punishment of death. Our hearts were not created for sadness, fear, depression, worry or grief they were made for full, constant, overflowing, everlasting joy and peace that’s found in union with our Creator.  

It’s been too long…

It’s been nearly two months! So it turns out that having three young children is actually quite a lot of work. I’ve had lots to write about but never seemed to dedicate enough time to type past the first paragraph. Our youngest went through a little phase of waking up at 4am for an hour which left me quite foggy headed during the day. Our 2&4 year olds have come up with a new song that they love shouting whilst jumping on our bed, before their evening bath. It goes like this “We got energy! We got energy! We got energy!” I’m usually crawling up the stairs and finding myself lying on the landing for a few minutes while my 11 month old excitedly pats me on the head. 

I got my first parking fine too! I took the girls “shopping”, we very rarely go to the shops so it’s always an exciting day out. I gave our eldest two the first letters of the shops we needed to go to, they love spotting letters in shop signs. I even managed to buy a top, a smart one! (It wasn’t just a case of buying one that I wouldn’t mind getting banana mush on). We chased seagulls, ate sandwiches and tried on anything that was pink and glittery. Just as we were about to leave I realised I’d dropped our baby’s hat (one that belonged to my first baby), so we retraced our steps but didn’t find it. We had parked in a quiet carpark (which I had always thought was part of the shopping centre) turns out there are two separate shopping places and there is a limited time customers can park there (funny how the signs with little black writing never seem noticeable until after a letter comes in the post and you go and check!). The fine was three times more the total spend of our trip!!! Luckily they took a bit off for early payment. I think we’ll stick to days out having picnics and picking wildflowers.

Spring is just so beautiful and we have had some lovely blossom fragranced walks. We randomly chose a spot on a map to drive to and ended up at Blean Woods, we had so much fun exploring and getting lost. Feeling the wonderful warmth of love Jesus pours out to all has made me appreciate nature with a childlike wonder all over again, it’s all just so perfect. The wind through the trees, the perfect structure of a kiwi fruit, the vastness of the ocean, the intricate pattern of the iris in my children’s eyes, it’s so breathtaking and powerful, full of peace, just like God’s love. 

I have had time to do a little illustration that I would like to give away for free. It’s one of my favourite verses from the bible. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have been in tears for so many different reasons, praying desperately and wondering if God really was listening, and if he was why wasn’t he just sorting it out for me! The more we draw closer to Jesus, the more we trust and grow our relationship with him, he lets us know his plans for us. His plan is ALWAYS perfect, with perfect timing and ALWAYS a perfect solution and with a powerful comfort that is breathtaking. Problems and worry can really get on top of us, stop us sleeping, interfere with relationships, make us ill with stress at times. Jesus wants ALL our worries, wherever we are, sobbing on the kitchen floor, lying in bed at night, crying in the toilets at work, at our desk, on the bus, he is listening and waiting with open arms for you to just ask. Love is always whole hearted. When we give our whole hearts and worries to him and depend on him with everything we have he NEVER EVER fails us. 
Please email me with your delivery details if you would like me to send you this print for free (30x30cm frame not inc.)

thechrissiewhiteshop@hotmail.com